WHO I AM
I believe in storytelling. I believe in awkward honesty, making mistakes and trusting your journey.
And I had a plan.
I thought I would take a huge leap of faith that would change my life drastically, then I'd sit back and watch everything fall into place.
Because that is what people say: it all falls into place.
More accurate for me: it all falls apart and you learn to trust the fall.
My plan was to leap, but I didn't think much about what would happen next. I just knew that if I didn't leap, I'd be pushed and I didn't want that to be my story. I was tired of chasing appearances and a lifestyle that my heart didn't want.
So I leaped.
In 2013 I left my full-time job in finance to build a career out of my writing hobby. The past few years have taught me how important it is to approach both ups and downs with the same willingness. I prayed for a lifestyle change and I got it. But it didn't descend on me out of the sky.
If anything fell, it was me.
I fell out of favor with some, because I decided to focus on myself. I fell off the radar, looking for myself in places where no one could reach me. I fell out of love with old ideas of myself and others that were holding me back. I fell hard for my dreams and my imagination, because I finally started believing that they were mine for a reason.
Along the way I've learned to fall more gracefully. It's not a one time thing. You fall. You bounce. You soar. It becomes a dance. Every time you are lifted up and every time you drop, you gain wisdom that expands your mind and opens your heart. How you fall becomes part of your artistry and your growth. If only we could see falling as a sign of progress.
Falling off the pedestal allows you to be free.
Many of us are afraid to fall for what we believe in because of what people might say. Because of what is deemed responsible and acceptable and prudent. I can easily think of dozens of unsolicited comments I've received from people over the years. When I got pregnant with three babies without being married. When I went natural. When I quit my job. When I stopped letting people's limitations become my own. When I embraced my style. My pace. My needs. When I dared to be human and emotional and unashamed. There is always someone who will judge and try to detour you with their disappointment.
The escape from all of that is to let yourself fall. Fall for something that tests your faith and your ability to let go. It's scary to come undone. But it you embrace the fall, you can finesse it and you can make beautiful things along the way. I haven't enjoyed every part of my leap into entrepreneurship, but I'm thankful for all of it and the rewards wouldn't be possible without the struggles.
GG Renee Hill is a writer, speaker and advocate for self-discovery through writing. A candid voice for mental health and self-care, GG writes about the joys and challenges of living an authentic life and becoming a fully expressed woman. Her books, courses and workshops empower women to embrace all their layers, creatively and shamelessly. She brings her experience as a blogger, memoirist, ghostwriter and coach to the products and services she offers on her website, allthemanylayers.com. Currently, she is seeking representation and writing a book of essays about learning to thrive as a black woman with a legacy of silence, shame and mental illness.